Transgender man who gave birth to his son criticizes medical staff for calling him ‘mother’ and claims that it’s ‘important’ to STOP automatically linking pregnancy with being a woman
A father has complained that nurses insisted on calling him ‘mom’ during his pregnancy despite being a man.
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, 37, from Los Angeles, first realised he was trans around ten years ago, in 2011, but didn’t begin his transition until three years later.
The couple decided that they wanted to have children, and weighed the options available to them because it meant Bennett stopping the testosterone hormone therapy he’d been on for several years to enable his ovaries to function.
Then six years later, in 2017 he found Malik, his future husband – who he married in 2019.
The couple decided that they wanted to have children, and weighed the options available to them because it meant Bennett stopping the testosterone hormone therapy he’d been on for several years.
Bennett, who has had surgery on the top half of his body but not on his genitalia, eventually decided that he would be comfortable trying to conceive and carrying a child.
Two years after beginning hormone treatment, in the summer of 2015, Bennett had surgery to remove his breasts – paying $5,000 for the procedure.
He fell pregnant naturally soon after they started trying, and the couple welcomed their son Hudson.
Bennett found out he was pregnant in March 2020, after falling pregnant naturally without any medical intervention other than coming off hormones.
He gave birth via caesarean section in October 2020, having a beautiful baby boy named Hudson.
But in the process of having little Hudson, Kaspar-Williams was troubled by the constant misgendering of him by hospital staff who insisted on calling him a “mom,” the Daily Mail reported.
“No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try — being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” the father — who began transitioning in 2014 — said of his parenthood journey. “That’s why it’s so important that we stop defining ‘womanhood’ in terms of ‘motherhood,’ because it’s a false equivalency that all women can become mothers, that all mothers carry their children, or that all people who carry children are mothers.”
But while in the hospital, Bennett says he was constantly misgendered – even with a beard and a flat chest.
‘Even with a full beard, a flat chest, and a ‘male’ gender marker on all my identification, people could not help but default to calling me “mom”, “mother”, or “ma’am”.
‘That was what made me dysphoric.
‘Nothing about being pregnant felt “feminine” to me – in fact, I think carrying a child, isolated due to the pandemic, and facing all the hospitals and appointments alone was the absolute toughest, bravest thing I’ve ever done.
He says the best thing about being a dad is seeing Hudson share his new discoveries.
‘When he discovers he can do something new, and runs over to me shouting “Dada!” – that is my best moment,’ said Bennett.
He added that it’s beautiful to see how unclouded children are by prejudice.
‘Children are these amazing beings that don’t see the world with the same bias and preconceptions that adults do,’ said Bennett.
‘To my son, there’s nothing more natural and normal than having a Dada and a Papa, and when he’s old enough, he will also come to know that his Dada was the one who carried him and took care of him so he could come into this world.’
‘Children see love, they see patience, and they see commitment.’
‘My son will no doubt accept that he came from me, just as he accepts all the other love and beauty around him – with open arms.’
Source:
nypost.com, dailymail.co.uk
