If You Spot At Least 3 Of These Signs, Your Man Is Obviously Not “The One”
1. He has extreme body odor. Now, that is acceptable if he has just come from a run, but before going for a run? No way in hell!
2. Sometimes your calls, your messages don’t reach him, even though his cell has perfect network. It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?
3. He always compares you to his ex, and not in a good way. She seems to always be better than you, or more experienced. Kind of a disappointment, that’s what you are to him!
4. If his accounts are taken into consideration, his ex-doesn’t matter to him. Which is exactly why he still has coffee, friendly meetings and ooh la la, doing “that” with her at times. You know, in a friendly, strictly ‘I scratch your back, you scratch mine’ way.
5. He has no sense of humor. He is like a block of wood at a Ricky Gervais show.
6. You need to struggle to think about his good qualities. And what do you come up with? ‘He can walk straight.’ *deep sighs*
7. He will force you to watch the stupidest of things, because it doesn’t tax his already depleted brain cells.
8. He is intimate, but only until 3am. After that, it is “wham, bam, off you go, Ma’am”.
9. His Sports Center matters more than your broken leg. After all, several NFL players shrugged off that sort of injury and got back out there. Doesn’t matter if you have never played rugby before.
10. You getting sick and him losing his grandmother always seem to correlate. All. The. Time. You wonder how many grandmothers he does have.
11. Not just you getting sick, that line is applicable for weddings, meetings, and anything that doesn’t have ‘SEX’ written on it.
12. Let’s just say that you cancelled out on the funeral, and are feeling particularly raunchy. What does he do? Scream ‘That’s not my granny!’, and jump in the sack. Wow.
13. He isn’t Ryan Gosling. No way near. Nope. Nada. Zilch. He is Mr Magoo.
14. Not just for the ‘he’ part of the relationship. But also if you think you are Scar Jo, well… “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the stupidest of them all?”
15. He thinks he is incapable of making a mistake. Well, poor you!
16. You might be on his lap 24 hours a day. But he gives you as much stock, as Andy Samberg in Friends With Benefits.
17. He calls you the same way he calls a waiter, or a pet dog. We don’t think you are either of them girl!
18. His family is obnoxious, and you would walk on burning coals, rather than spend time playing Jeopardy with them.
19. He is a douchebag
20. He isn’t one to be monogamous. Ironically, you are married, and you have kids from the same person itself. Damn!
