You Should Have These 5 Things In Common With Your Spouse
1. Goals
Having some shared goals such as family size and career aspirations is vital. You don’t want to get three years into marriage to find out you have different plans for children. Besides, you don’t want your marriage to suffer because one person desires to climb the corporate ladder while the other does not. It doesn’t mean you both need to be ambitious in your career, but you need to discuss those ambitions and have a common goal that addresses what you both want. The same goes for family goals.
2. Values
When you share common values such as honesty, loyalty, transparency, faith, etc., you have a foundation upon which to build your marriage. While you don’t have to share all the same values, you need to share core values.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously
Doing life with someone isn’t easy. Injecting humor into the relationship helps alleviate stress. Have a shared understanding of what humor is. Do you see humor as jokes, pranks, sarcasm, goofiness? Talk about what humor means to each of you and make sure you are on the same page. You don’t want one spouse’s humor to be insulting to the other. A fun marriage is a happy marriage.
4. Boundaries
Think of a guardrail on the highway. Why is it there? To keep you out of the ditch. Boundaries work the same way. Do you both have the same boundaries on opposite-sex friends? This will be huge for your marriage. Talk about it now.
5. Friends and family
Have a conversation early about this. Friends and family are important. Does each of you continue to maintain all of your friendships and habits with friends? Do you come to an agreement about how often each of you hangs out with friends? Where does family fall in your marriage? Family is important, but the family you are building is more important. Agree on some common boundaries for friends and family that keep your marriage at the forefront.
