Socrates famously said “Marry or don’t marry – you will regret both”. And it seems that he was right.
Many statistics point to the fact that married people – man and women, are happier. However, this could be a result of statistical distortions, since happier people are generally more likely to find a partner and get married.
Further, any increased levels of happiness stemming from marriages are usually gone after 2 years of saying “I do”.
What makes people, and especially men, unhappy in relationships?
The top reason for being unhappy in a relationship is: becoming a parent. Research done by the Max Planck institute showed that the birth of the first child creates a drop in happiness levels more severe than getting unemployed, divorced, or even the d3ath of your partner.
What makes men in general happy are personal growth and recognition. Men are “doers”. This causes men to suffer from huge drops in happiness when they retire – their purpose and source of recognition is suddenly gone. The same thing can happen in a marriage. A good advice to a man who entered a relationship is to not start get out of shape, both physically and mentally.
There is a lot of good adivce for healthy relationtships on Quora. One of the best to increase the happiness in a relationship is probably to make sure that for every negative thing that happens, create 5 good moments. This ratio of 1:5 has shown to be ideal for a lasting and happy relationship.
Many of us, especially baby boomers, grew up respecting marriage. It was for life, and divorce was not considered part of that equation. So, if things did not go as planned, you made yourself as happy as you could.
For me, I knew my marriage was not good, almost from the start.
I did not get a honeymoon period, and I was unhappy for about three years. I did not know what to do, so I made the best of what I had, and stayed put. I had children, a career, and a difficult husband. I got to where I ignored his bad behavior and went on with my life, still doing things with him, but also doing my own thing. When he had an affair, and I found out, it was almost as if I awaken from a dream. I saw my marriage in its reality and I chose not to continue it.
It takes a lot of energy to get out of a marriage and everyone is hurt—ex, children and me. I would guess that is why many people stay.
There are other reasons, such as finance and there is more than one answer to your question. I gave you mine.
