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Whose Panties Are These???

A wife goes on a retreat for work for a few days.

When she returns and enters the house, she puts her things away and then goes to do some much needed laundry.

Upon her entry to the room, however, she finds a pair of panties on the floor that do not belong to her!

Furious, she questions her husband.

The husband says, “I have no idea where they came from I don’t do the laundry, the maid does!”

The wife calms down and says, “Oh! So maybe these belong to the maid, could be she was doing her laundry here.”

“Nah,” said the husband musingly, “she doesn’t even wear panties.”


Italian Grandma’s Advice.

A young Italian girl was going on her first date.
Before the date her Nonna decided to give her some advice.
Nonna said, “Sita here ana letame tella you about those-a younga boys.

He’s agonna try and kiss you, you are agonna likea that… but don’t let him do that.
He’s agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likea that too… but don’ta let him do that!
But most important, he’s agonna try ana lay on topa you, you are agonna likea dat, but don’ta let him do that.
Doing that willa disgraca the family!!”

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date.
The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: “Nonna, I didn’t let him disgrace the family.
When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced HIS family!”

Nonna fainted!!