Home Jokes Two elderly women were having a late lunch and drink

Two elderly women were having a late lunch and drink

Two elderly women were having a late lunch and a drink at a local pub one afternoon when Ethel noticed something funny about Mable’s ear and said,

“Mable, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?”

Mable answered,

“I have? A suppository?” She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said,

“Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”

I work at a restaurant in a very rich town, in which I also live. 

I was getting my hair done at a `posh’ salon when I see one of my regulars from the restaurant sitting in the first chair.

Me: “Hello Mrs. [Name]. Good to see you.”

Customer: “Oh hello aren’t you my waitress from the place down the road?”

Me: “Yes, I am. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I didn’t know people like you were allowed in a place like this.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

At this point, my stylist comes over to bring me to her station.

Customer: *to stylist* “Honey, did you know this girl is a waitress? Are you sure she has enough money to pay? You may want to check before you start serving her.”

Stylist: “Ma’am, [My Name] has been a client here for two years. She’s very reliable.”

Customer: “Oh my. What a waste of money. Poor girls like you should not be wasting their money on things like this. Don’t you have a child to care for or something of the like?”

At this point everyone in the salon is quite uncomfortable and is staring at the three of us.

Me: “I’m so sorry Mrs. [Name]. I actually only work at the restaurant because I don’t like to spend my time being unproductive. You see, I am a college student at [very prestigious college]. I am currently studying to be a biomedical engineer, which I’ll have you know is the second top grossing career currently. And since it seems to matter to you so much, I’m quite financially comfortable! And even if I were a poor waitress, as you so kindly suggested, people are free to do whatever they like with the money they work so hard for! Your husband comes in twice a week to get coffee and sit at our counter and complain about you! So really, Mrs. [Name], I’m very, very sorry for you.”


A Poorly Dressed Woman Entered A Fancy Restaurant

A poorly dressed woman entered a fancy restaurant. All the customers looked at her with scorn.

The woman was wearing a ragged old dress and had a sloppy look. The hostess immediately ran up to her not even trying to hide her disgust.

“Madam you have probably mistaken the place for somewhere else.” All she wanted was to quickly get rid of this unwelcome guest.

The woman looked at her shyly and asked is this grandson’s restaurant?

The people in the dinning hall began to whisper and giggle.

The hostess looked at the woman with a pitiful look you’re right. This is. What do you want madam?

Immediately call the administrator! Shouted one of the disgruntled visitors, I booked a table here in advance not for this beggar to watch me eat!

The old lady lowered her head and said softly I will not take much of your time dear.

I have only one request the hostess reluctantly invited the elderly woman inside, to the sound of general disapproval and averted shouts.

I would have called security if I were you! Did you notice how she smells? That’s a nightmare! The visitors didn’t hide their feelings at all.

The woman went to the showcase with desserts and peered at it for a long time.

The waiters giggled if she hopes to eat here for free she is not getting anything! It seemed the woman did not pay attention to their disapproval.

Tell me Honey is it possible to buy only half of the lemon cake? How much will it cost? I have $17 she asked clutching some crumpled old notes in her hand.

The waiters barely restrained laughter. “Madam I don’t think you have enough money even for one slice of this cake!”

This is a work of art by our chef! Moreover we don’t sell it in halves.

The elderly lady turned pale, it seemed that something had collapsed inside her. Slowly she hobbled back to the exit.

Suddenly she was called by a man dressed in military uniform sitting next to his wife in the corner of the restaurant. “Madam comes here please! You don’t look very happy! Has something happened?” He asked with a charming smile.

“My daughter. She was very sick. When she was a kid, we passed by this restaurant and she used to look at the shop windows for a long time. We dreamed of eating the lemon cake here one day but then she got sick. My husband left and I got several jobs to feed us. We have no money to continue the treatment and this cake is the only thing I can do for her now. But I only have $17. “

The tears rolled down her face.

Without hesitation the military man summoned the waiter and asked him to pack a whole lemon cake for the woman at his expense.

He said today is 17 years since we lost out son Alex. He died in a car accident. My wife and I couldn’t do anything through she is a doctor. 17 years and 17 dollars in your pockets if this is not a sign from above then what is?

His wife gave the elderly woman her business card and promised to help with her daughter’s treatment.

When the waiter brought out the lemon cake for the lady a grateful smile appeared on her face. She thanked the military couple and headed for the exit.

There was deathly silence in the restaurant as no one felt like giggling anymore.