Some People Are Holding Grudges Against You For Things They Did To You
There are some mixed up people in the world, and it’s an inevitability that one of them will eventually cross your path.
Resentment is ultimately a poisoned habit. There’s a quote I like: “To have a grudge is like drinking a poison and expecting the other person to get sick.”
If someone has a grudge, it’s not good for him. But it does not matter to you, especially if you have a grudge for the wrong reason.
Some people will want you for something they did.
They will hold a grudge against the way you react to their misdeeds, blow them up, or let them slide. If you blow up, they might hold grudge against your aggression. If you drop it, they may blame you because they do not feed the fire they wanted to light.
This kind of resentment is quite complicated to manage, but there are a few things you can do that you have the honor to correct or at least overcome.
Ask what you need to do to improve it.
It is very likely that what you did in response to his bad behavior was justified or not at all wrong, but it is always good to be proactive. If someone has a grudge and is angry with you, he wants the ball to be in place. They want you to correct the situation.
So hit the ball back. Ask him what you need to do to improve the situation. This gives you the ability to fix everything you have done wrong, but also requires you to look inward and ask yourself if they are a little ridiculous. If you do not have this moment of clarity, you have probably learned something important about them and you must make decisions about their status in your life.
Realize that they may have to hold the grudge.
If you hurt someone and want him, before you decide that you hate him for ever and want to, think for a moment about whether he needs it or not. What was your past? What is your present today? Do you have to be defensive? Do you have a reason to think that you are wrong?
People who have a narcissist, a culprit or a terrible past sometimes create huge walls around them and resentment can help reinforce them. This is not right, but if you are trying to fix a situation, it may be helpful to take a step back.
Consider an apology.
I would never say that you have to apologize in such a situation. I’ve been saying for a long time that “I’m sorry” are the two most powerful words at your disposal. You should only pronounce them if you are serious or if you are sure that it will allow a better speech.
Excuses can be all you need to hear to continue.
Let it go.
At the end of the day, it is best to let go of the grudge. But if resentment follows you, persecutes you, and changes your treatment, it may be helpful to repeat one of the above points to correct the situation, especially if you can not escape it.
It’s not fun to handle resentment, especially if you have done nothing wrong, but these things happen and it’s good to be equipped with the skills to deal with them.