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Odd Jobs

A neighborhood kid was looking for ways to earn money.

He knocked on the door of one house, and when the man answered the boy asked,

“Hey mister, got any odd jobs I can do?”

The man indeed had a job for the boy to do

He handed the boy a can of red paint and a brush. “Paint my porch. ”The boy was eager to do a good job and the man went back inside.

A couple hours later, the boy knocked on the door again. “Okay, mister, I’m done painting But I gotta tell ya, that’s not a Porsche, it’s a Lamborghini.”

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and… OH… MY GOD!”

Silence followed… complete silence!

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!”

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled…

“For the luvva Jaysus… you should see the back of mine!”