My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years and generally have a good relationship. Before we got married, we agreed to remain childfree. However, after our wedding, she changed her mind and insisted on having a baby.
Despite my reminders of our agreement, she continued to insist. I still strongly believed that I didn’t want any children.
So, to avoid unwanted drama, I secretly had a vasectomy last year. I didn’t tell her because I felt justified since she had broken our initial agreement.
A few months after my vasectomy, she came to me and proudly said she was pregnant.
I was absolutely surprised and accused her of having someone, still without revealing my vasectomy. She thought my accusations were baseless and that I was losing my mind because I had been against having babies.
Anyway, I insisted on a DNA test during her pregnancy, leaving her no choice but to agree.
The big surprise was when the results came out: it turned out the baby is mine, indicating that my vasectomy might not have been successful.
I apologized repeatedly for accusing her of having someone but still didn’t admit to having had the vasectomy. Now, she’s incredibly distant and is considering divorce, believing I was more interested in accusing her of having someone than in the pregnancy.
I’m unsure whether to tell her about having had a vasectomy without her knowledge to justify why I thought she had someone.
Would revealing this now make things worse?
How should we work through this, especially with a child on the way? I’m completely lost and need your guidance on the best way to fix things.
