It is normal to hear stories about parents leaving their children with grandparents for a variety of reasons. This is why grandparents take an active role in their grandchildren’s upbringing and education. However, they are not always eager to parent a child again, as seen in the following story.
My 17-year-old daughter—the youngest; we had her when we were older—is 7 weeks pregnant and will turn 18 before giving birth. She is not in a relationship with the father, who, I cannot emphasize enough, does not want a baby. Honestly, I doubt he’ll show up for the birth or any other related obligations.
Despite the advice of virtually every adult in her life, she has decided to go through with the pregnancy. After insisting not only on continuing the pregnancy but also on raising the baby, I asked her how she plans to handle the situation. This is more or less what we discussed:
She: I will get a job.
Me: Who will take care of the baby while you are working?
Her: I thought you and Dad could do it.
Me: Absolutely not. I’m not raising another baby.
Essentially, it was an exchange of ideas that led me to believe that if she had this kid in our home, I would effectively become its mother. I recently retired, and my spouse will retire in exactly 11 months, therefore I do not want to spend my retirement years like this. This is not fair to us.
I informed my daughter that she had until the baby was born to locate another place to live. My husband has always been very forgiving of her—which is normally beautiful; I adore how much he loves our children—so he disagrees with me, but I believe we must agree on this.
This grandmother-to-be is in a complex situation, but so is her daughter.
