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My Parents Ignored My Wedding Invitations; Now Our Family Is Shaming Them For Not Attending

I have a younger brother named Mike. He is the epitome of a man-child and a mama’s boy, constantly moaning and expecting people to submit to him. Simply said, an asshole. My parents have been overly concerned with him since he was born. He does not have special needs, nor did he have a traumatic delivery. He was newly born. And my parents utterly rejected me. My mother especially. She transformed from a loving mother to one of those boy mommies mocked on the internet.

My father still loved and supported me, but he’s never been brave enough to stand up to my mother and let me win at least once. My grandfather (76M) was the only one who stuck up for me; he constantly called my parents out on their lies and disliked my brother. I remind him of his late wife, my grandmother, and we have a really special link, but he lives on the opposite side of the nation, so I seldom see him very frequently.

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Mike is well aware of our mother’s preference for him and enjoys shoving it in my face. We’ve had disagreements because of this, as well as his behavior. He’s a spoiled brat and a terrible person. I can’t recall how many times I got in trouble because I outperformed him or because he accused me of anything. His only talent is his football ability. He received a scholarship to a nice institution out of state. My parents didn’t pay for my college since my fund was reportedly utilized to meet bills after a fire, only to discover years later that the money was handed to Mike to buy a car and a house.

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It was at the public university that I met Lucas. He was the first person I was drawn to there. Of course, I met new people who are now my dearest friends, and thanks to them and Lucas, who was my best friend for years before we got together, I managed to move out of my parents’ house. Now both Lucas and I are well-known in our fields and have very good salaries.

Now to the key point. Lucas proposed to me one year ago. We’re pretty private people, so we didn’t share it on social media or anything, and when I told my parents, they dismissed it with a “that’s nice” (I’m beginning to suspect they didn’t listen to me at all). We opted on a pleasant, simple ceremony and reception with our friends and relatives.

Lucas urged me to invite my parents and brother, but they never responded. When I went to visit and started talking about my wedding (without admitting it was a wedding), my mother would always speak over me and describe my brother’s accomplishments and crazy adventures. I became tired up with it and interrupted my mother to tell her about an event I was trying to host with an unmovable date. She informed me that they would be unable to come because my brother was playing his final game of the season on the same day and had requested their presence.

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Of course, this favoritism didn’t surprise me: they missed my ballets, shows, and both my high school and university graduation for things about him. At this point, I wanted to be petty. I told both my parents that it wasn’t a problem to miss this event, purposely omitted the fact that this event was my wedding, and didn’t insist further.

I recently got married. It was perfect. My family, Lucas’ family, and our friends all attended, and we had a great day. My grandfather was delighted to give me away, and it was simply right. My relatives asked me several times why my parents were not among us. I was honest and just stated that they were unable to attend my brother’s game. They gave me a few stares, and my grandfather was plainly angry for a moment, but nothing unusual occurred.

Lucas and I left for our honeymoon after the wedding and didn’t use our phones for the entire vacation. However, when we returned, we saw that a storm had welcomed us home. I switched on my phone and was unable to unlock it before a flood of notifications appeared. Most of them came from my mother and brother. Mike called me ugly things and abused me because one of my paternal aunts uploaded images of the wedding on Facebook and tagged them with a very obvious dig at my parents (particularly my mother) for missing it. The post went viral in my parents’ community, and they have been publically chastised for mistreating me.

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It also turns out that my grandpa personally visited my parents to go on a tirade to shame my father, his son, to the point of tears. And this seemed to be my father’s breaking point, because he was so distraught for missing his only daughter’s wedding and for his father’s disapproval, that he finally rebelled against my mom and is threatening divorce unless she makes it up to me. I think that’s the reason why my mom has been spamming my phone with messages, at first insulting and threatening and then downright pitiful, full of begging and pity parties.

Now I’m at home with my husband, debating how to handle the situation. Most of my relatives, including those I did not invite to the wedding, have contacted me to apologize for what I went through and to claim they had no idea this was going on at home (I can’t blame any of my relatives; they all live with my grandfather on the other side of the country or in another state), but my mother’s sisters and friends are mocking me for not informing her about the wedding because she is now distraught at the thought of missing my wedding. Personally, I believe she is merely claiming it to preserve face, but I am not sure.

Image for illustrative purpose only. (Freepik)

My father and mother’s most recent texts appear to be deeply disappointed and hurt because they missed my wedding. My family is now divided on three fronts: the majority who support me, my maternal aunts who shame me for hurting my mother’s sentiments, and my maternal grandparents who insist that I forgive my mother in light of her “atonement.” My best friends are telling me not to listen to them.