My entitled husband bought first class for himself and his mother, leaving me in economy with the children. But I wasn’t going to just sit there. I made sure his “luxury” experience had some turbulence, transforming his flight into a lesson he will never forget.
Clark volunteered to book the flights, and I thought, “Great, one less thing for me to worry about.”
Oh, how naive I was.
“Clark, honey, where are our seats?” I asked.
Clark, my dear husband of eight years, was busy tapping away on his phone. “Oh, um, about that…” he mumbled, not even looking up.
I felt a knot forming in my stomach. “What do you mean, ‘about that’?”
He finally pocketed his phone and gave me that sheepish grin I’d come to dread.
“Well, I managed to snag an upgrade for me and Mom to first class. You know how she gets on long flights, and I really need to catch up on some peaceful rest…
“So, let me get this straight,” I snapped. “You and your mother are sitting in first class, while I’m stuck in economy with both kids?”
Clark had the audacity to shrug. The nerve of this guy. Argh.
“Ah, c’mon. Stop being a drama queen! It’s just a few hours, Soph. You’ll be fine.”
As if on cue, his mother Nadia appeared, designer luggage in tow. “Oh, Clark! There you are. Are we ready for our luxurious flight?”
I watched as they sauntered off towards the first-class lounge, leaving me with two cranky kids and a growing desire for my plan.
“Oh, it’ll be luxurious alright,” I muttered, a delicious, petty plan brewing in my head. “Just you wait.”
Clark and Nadia were already sipping champagne while I struggled to fit our carry-on into the overhead bin.
“Mommy, I want to sit with Daddy!” our five-year-old whined.
I forced a smile. “Not this time, sweetie. Daddy and Grandma are sitting in a special part of the plane.”
“Why can’t we sit there too?”
“Because Daddy’s a special kind of jerk.”
“What was that, Mommy?”
“Nothing, honey. Let’s get you buckled in.”
Okay, so back to where we left off. A wicked grin spread across my face as I watched Clark. This flight was about to get a lot more interesting.
Two hours into the flight, my kids were asleep, and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. That’s when I saw the flight attendant approaching the first-class cabin with a tray of gourmet meals. Yum!
It was like watching a dog drool over a juicy steak while I was stuck with airline pretzels.
I watched as Clark ordered the most expensive items on the menu, complete with top-shelf liquor, indulging in every luxury available.
“Would you like anything from the snack cart, ma’am?” another flight attendant asked me.
I smiled. “Just water, please. And maybe some popcorn. I have a feeling I’m about to watch quite a show.”
As expected, about thirty minutes later, I saw Clark frantically searching his pockets. The color drained from his face as he realized his wallet was missing.
I sat back, munching on my popcorn. The in-flight entertainment had nothing on this. Jeez, this was EPIC!
Finally, the moment I’d been waiting for arrived.
Clark, looking like a scolded schoolboy, made his way down the aisle to economy class. And to me!
“Soph,”
“I can’t find my wallet. Please tell me you have some cash.”
I put on my best-concerned face. “Oh no! That’s terrible, honey. How much do you need?”
He winced. “Uh, about $1500?”
I nearly choked on my water. “Thousand five hundred bucks? What on earth did you order? The blue whale?!”
As he turned to leave, I called out sweetly, “Hey, doesn’t your mom have her credit card? I’m sure she’d be happy to help!”
As we began our descent, Clark made one more trip back to economy.
“Soph, have you seen my wallet? I’ve looked everywhere.”
I put on my most innocent face. “No, honey. Are you sure you didn’t leave it at home?”
He ran his hands through his hair, frustration evident. “I could’ve sworn I had it at the airport. This is a nightmare.”
“Well,” I said, patting his arm, “at least you got to enjoy first class, right?”
The look he gave me could have curdled milk. “Yeah, real enjoyable.”
As he skulked back to his seat, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. Lesson learned!
After the flight, Clark was looking as sour as a lemon. Nadia had wisely disappeared into the restroom, probably to avoid the look on his face. I couldn’t blame her. It was one of those classic “if looks could kill” moments, and Clark’s mood wasn’t improving.
“I can’t believe I lost my wallet,” Clark muttered, patting down his pockets for the tenth time.
“Are you sure you didn’t leave it in first class?” I asked, doing my best to keep a straight face.
He shot me a glare. “I already checked. Twice.”
I bit my lip, holding back the grin threatening to break free. This was too good.
“Maybe it fell out during one of those fancy meals they served you.”
“Very funny, Soph. This isn’t a joke. There’s gotta be a way to track it down.”
He then let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. “I just hope someone didn’t pick it up and run off with it. All our cards are in there.”
“Yeah, that would suck!”
As we walked out of the airport, I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. I’d keep the wallet hidden for a while longer and treat myself to something nice with his card before handing it back. A little creative justice never hurt anyone!
