In the eyes of a parent, their child will always be their baby.
However, one mother took that idea too far when she imposed a rule on her 25-year-old daughter stating that she was not allowed to sleep in the same bed as her boyfriend when under her parent’s roof. She wrote:
“My daughter and her boyfriend celebrated Easter with us (me, my husband, and our son/her brother). I asked her boyfriend to stay in our guest room, as they aren’t married yet and my husband and I believe it’s inappropriate to share a bed before marriage. Neither her or her boyfriend said anything at the time, but later it came up that they don’t visit more often because we won’t “allow” them to sleep together.
I think this is ridiculous. After all, it’s our house and our rules. My daughter agreed, but then said she’d still prefer to sleep with her boyfriend and thinks our rule is what’s actually ridiculous. She then tried to tell us that they still respect our rule. I pointed out that she was clearly lying about that, since she was withholding her very presence from her own family. I said she was punishing us for having a very reasonable rule, and that she obviously doesn’t truly respect “our house, our rules”. She changed the subject then. At the end of their trip I asked when the next we’ll see them again, and was told “maybe the 4th of July, unless [they] make plans with [boyfriend’s] family first”. When I pointed out she was still trying to punish us (who waits three months in between visits to their parents?), she just left.
My husband feels that I’m right and our daughter is being unspeakably rude, but my son thinks we’re in the wrong and it’s “not a big deal”.
Her daughter, being a respectful human being, decided to comply with her parents’ wishes by not visiting them as often as they would want. This, of course, got her mother upset and lost as the only people who think that this is all right and her daughter is being simply rude is herself and her husband.
A lot of Reddit commentators agree that by flashing her “no sleeping before marriage” card, the mother is jeopardizing her relationship with her daughter.”
This mother then updated more information
“EDIT
She’s 25 and he’s 26. They’ve been together for three years and living together for two. I didn’t include this because the rule isn’t based on their ages or if they’re cohabiting, so I didn’t think it was important. They will be allowed to share a bed under our roof once they’re married and not a second sooner.
Some people seem to think we’re upset that she’s choosing to stay in a hotel room instead of with us. This is not the case. She’s choosing to avoid seeing us at all, instead of spending time with her family.
EDIT 2
A lot of people are under the impression that my daughter and her boyfriend visit every three months – this isn’t the case at all. They usually only visit 2 or 3 times a year. I could understand before, with the pandemic, and before that they were in college, but we expected more frequent visits now that they’re not as busy. Her brother manages to see us once a month, so we know it’s not too unreasonable of an ask. But she certainly doesn’t visit every three months. If she chooses not to come in July, we won’t get to see her until October at the earliest.”
