I’m Sarah (25) married to David (28) for a year now. I don’t have any siblings, and Tania has been my best friend for as long as I can remember.
We practically grew up together, and she’s like the sister I never had. Tania tied the knot with her college sweetheart right after graduation, but despite their efforts, they’ve struggled to conceive. After a lot of tests and painful procedures, she eventually understood that despite having healthy eggs, she can’t carry a child due to issues with her uterus, leaving surrogacy as her only option.
When Tania recently confided in me about this, I didn’t hesitate to offer to carry her and her husband’s IVF baby.
Just last week, I accompanied her to her gynecologist, where I received the green light after a thorough examination and Q&A session, confirming that I could carry the baby without any trouble.
In the midst of it all, last night, my husband unexpectedly brought up the idea of starting a family. When we tied the knot, we made a pact to wait 3-4 years until we were financially secure and had our own home before diving into parenthood.
So, I ended up confessing to him, “I’ve already committed to being a surrogate for Tania, and that’s a promise I can’t back out of.” He was visibly shocked.
He said, “When did you intend to inform me about this? I’m your husband; I should have a say in this decision.”
In response, I explained saying, “I didn’t find it necessary to seek your consent. My body, my choice,” to which he reacted aggressively, saying, “What do you mean? You can’t just commit to carrying someone else’s baby without consulting me.
This is a decision we should make together.” Then, after a few minutes of silence, he caught me off guard with an unexpected threat and said, “In that case, I can also choose not to be involved, or perhaps not be a part of your life altogether.”
I sort of understand that this is not a decision most husbands would readily accept. Yet, I feel a deep obligation to help my friend, given our close bond.
However, his threat of divorce have left me questioning whether I should have consulted him beforehand. I would appreciate your insights on navigating this dilemma
