Always being available to everyone, anytime often has its challenges. It can make people think that you’re obligated to help, even when you’re exhausted or simply can’t. A woman shared heer story about facing this exact problem—just days before the holidays!

She reached out to us with this message.

I need your advice on a topic that has been bothering me these past few days. I host Christmas for my family every year. I spend weeks cleaning, planning, and cooking. This year, between work and kids, I just couldn’t do it.

I told my mom I wouldn’t be hosting this time. She instantly got angry, “I can’t believe you’d abandon your family like this!” Frustrated, I hung up.

The next day, I got a message from my aunt, “Your mom is planning her own Christmas dinner and hasn’t invited you.” I’m stunned. I never said I didn’t want to celebrate; I just couldn’t host.

Now I’m wondering if I should confront her or just let it go. Do I show up to her dinner uninvited or try to smooth things over before Christmas?