I Am Sorry, But You Are Not Allowed Back Into My Life Anymore
I do not check my phone to see if I have received a call from you. My heart stopped blowing a beat when I heard your name or your voice. There are no butterflies in my stomach when I see you. Your contact and your kisses do not excite me. I do not want them or your presence anymore.
I never thought that the person who would be blamed for making me so happy and loved would be the same person who would make me suffer so much and make me so lonely and miserable.
But I healed my heart and kissed my wounds. I accepted it as a part of me and moved on to something else.
I was no longer treated as an option. I could not put myself in the bottom of your list of priorities and take for granted, but I think I loved you so much that I could not let him go. And while I loved you, I lost myself. I threw all my standards out the window.
You said you love me. You said you can not imagine your life without me. Heck, you even told me that you will love me forever. That you will change your bad manners for me. Well, thank God every day for not doing it. Fortunately, you remained the same immature cock, so I finally found the strength to leave you.
Yes, it took a long time to heal, but I did it. I finally understood that it was not me. It’s not that I did not deserve you, or that I do not deserve to be chosen and loved for all that I am.
I now know that God saved me from all pain and sorrow. Because the time I spend with you has taught me the hardest and toughest lessons that can happen to anyone. These relationships serve to separate us so that we can finally lose our ego and become our true selves.
When I think of you today and at the moments that I thought were happy, I realized that they all came with some pain. How can someone say that he supports you and that he is there for you during your illness, but that he is not there to visit you when you are alone in the hospital room, with the feeling of losing your head and everything you do? want to see you. This cold room reminds me why I left and why I will never come back. The hospital room was my reality. I finally saw who you are.
Well, I’m grateful we did not land together. Getting married would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I am grateful that I did not destroy my life this way.
You can say that you are sorry, whatever you want, but you will not come back. This time, my door is closed for you. And he will remain closed forever. There will be no second chance. And you know why?
After all, I’m above you.