He Blamed Every Bottle… Except One
A man woke up in the morning deeply remorseful after a bitter argument with his wife the previous night:
He saw with horror the crate of beer bottles that the fight had caused.
He took it outside and started slamming the empty bottles against the wall one by one.
He smashed the first bottle while cursing. “You are the reason I am arguing with my wife.”
He smashed the second bottle. “You are the reason I don’t love my children.”
He smashed the third bottle. “You are the reason I don’t have a decent job.”
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and full.
He hesitated for a moment and then said,
Get out of the way, I know you weren’t involved.
Read more…
Two army boys, Frankie and Davy, get promoted from Privates to Sergeants.
Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Frankie says, “Hey, Davy – there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drink.”
“But we’s privates,” protests Davy.
“No, we’s sergeants now,” says Frankie proudly, pulling him inside. “Now, Davy, I’m gonna sit down and have me a drink.”
“But, we’s privates,” says Davy. “You’re blind, boy!” says Frankie, pointing at his stripes. “We’s Sergeants now!”
So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hoo-ker comes up to Frankie. “You’re cute,” she says, “and I’d like to take you someplace and make you feel good — but I’ve got a bad c@se of g0n0rrhe@.”
Frankie pulls his friend to the side and whispers, “Davy, go look in the dictionary and see what that g0n0rrhe@ means. If it’s good, give me the okay sign.”
Davy goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Frankie the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Frankie is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of g0n0rrhe@.
“Davy,” he shouts, “What did you give me the okay for?!”
“Well Frankie, in the dictionary, it says g0n0rrhe@ only affects the privates.” Then he pointed to his stripes and says, “But we’s Sergeants now!”
