Boyfriend Broke Up With His Girlfriend After He Found Out She Was Born Male
A young Australian man in 2019 called into a radio station to talk about how he had recently broken up with his girlfriend of nine months because he found out that she was born a man. This brings up the debate of the thin line between transphobia and preferences.
Man Breaks Up With Girlfriend When He Finds Out She’s Trans
In July of 2019, 20-year-old Alex from Sydney, Australia called into KIISFM radio station to talk about his recent breakup. He was the one who called it off, he says, because his 25-year-old girlfriend was lying to him. No, she wasn’t cheating on him – she didn’t disclose to him that she was born male. (1)
Alex, 20, from Sydney, said he fell in love with a woman, 25, who he was having an intimate relationship with for nine months.
But three weeks ago, he was left devastated when a mutual friend dropped a bombshell his girlfriend was hiding a secret from him.
‘Everything was going well, everything was great, well I thought anyway,’ Alex told Kyle and Jackie O on KIISFM.
‘A mutual friend of ours, he’d been family friends of ours for years, since I was little. And what happened was, we were out one night, I came home with him, he was a bit drunk and he told me: “Look Alex, now I’ve been hiding something from you and so is your girlfriend. I think you need to know because I think it’s wrong and I can’t leave you thinking that this is a great, honest relationship”.’
Alex said he was then told that his girlfriend had undergone a ‘sex change’ at the age of 18.
‘When I found out, honestly I dropped, I didn’t believe him at first, it was mixed emotions, then I still didn’t believe him,’ he said.
‘So when I confronted her, I actually found her pills, I found her estrogen tablets… I just dropped, I felt cold, I felt angry, there was many emotions in one go.’
Alex admitted he was in love with her and he ‘never would’ve picked’ she was a transgender woman who he thought was a ‘solid seven and a half’.
‘I didn’t feel anything different. It felt like normal sex. When I confronted her, she was crying, she didn’t know what to say,’ Alex said.
A Trust Lost
Alex explained to the radio hosts that he was quite in love with his now ex-girlfriend and never would have picked her out to be transgender. He described her as a “solid seven-and-a-half”. He also said that being intimate with her didn’t feel any different. Nonetheless, he felt as though he had been rather deceived.
‘But when you’re in a relationship, you think you could have trust, and at the start of the relationship, she should’ve been upfront and told me.
‘You’ve got to have that trust at the start but to not even say anything, give me at least some sort of known of the past but nothing like that was said.
‘It makes me feel sick. I’m still heartbroken. I feel deceived… I think that’s a big lie for me, just sort of fake who you were and to not say that in the beginning.’
He had even met her family on a few occasions. Sobbing, she told him that she’d told her family that he already knew when he didn’t. It wasn’t just her that he felt deceived by, but everyone involved in their relationship. He was angry at his friend, too, who’d also kept the secret from him.
‘I met her family but she had told them she had told me,’ he said.
‘So they thought I had accepted it. I feel like she must’ve been scared to tell me or see my reaction.’
It’s been more than three weeks since their relationship breakdown, and Alex said he’s no longer in contact with his now ex-girlfriend and their mutual friend.
‘I haven’t spoken to him, I’m still angry at him – I haven’t spoken to both,’ he said.
‘I just honestly need time away to think. I’ve been having time out from everything. I miss her a little bit. I just don’t know.’