A man and a woman are sleeping together
When suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my husband, you have to leave!”
The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something.
He goes back to the house and says to the woman,
“Wait, I’m your husband!”
She replies giving him a dirty look,
“So why did you run?”
The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later.
Finally, at about 3 A.M., she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
“Do you realize what time it is?” she asked.
“Don’t get excited,” he slurred. “I’m late because I bought something for the house.”
Immediately, her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, “What did you buy for the house, dear?”
His answer was, “A round of drinks!”
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy:
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife.
“There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”
The wife smiled sweetly and replied.
“Not this time!”