My late wife Kate passed away about 12 years ago.
They have a family heirloom that has passed down several generations (starting from her great grandmother) from mothers to their first daughters, on their 18th (or thereabouts) birthdays. The heirloom itself is not highly valuable in a financial sense, but the history makes it very valuable to the people in the family. I currently possess it after Kate passed away and I always intended to give it to my daughter, Claire, on her 18th birthday. She is currently 16.
I married my current wife about 8 years ago. My step daughter, Sarah, (whom I have adopted and consider my own daughter) is 17 years and 11 months old, her 18th birthday is in a month. My wife has also adopted Claire and we all consider each other as just one family.
My wife asked me to give the heirloom to Sarah on her birthday to continue the tradition.
I was hesitant because I always intended to give it to Claire who is Kate’s only daughter as this is what she would have wanted and is the continuation of the tradition. My wife counters that this belongs to our family now and we should give it to our eldest daughter on her 18th birthday, and therefore this should be Sarah. I told her that while I consider Sarah to be my daughter but she’s not Kate’s daughter, this belongs to Kate and should go to Kate’s daughter. My wife said Claire is HER daughter, not anyone else’s and my wife accused me of playing favorites and told me that if I truly consider Sarah to be my daughter then I’ll do the right thing for her or that I haven’t really accepted Sarah as a real daughter yet.
I consulted my son (from Kate, 25 years old) and he told me that if I do this he’s going to walk from the birthday party and that he bets he won’t be the only one.
He said if I do this I should be ready for severe consequences. He left in a very frustrated way. His argument in the end was that “this isn’t yours to give away. It was mom’s and now belongs to Claire.”
My wife thinks my son is overreacting and it’s only because due to his age and moving out he’s never bonded with Sarah like Claire and I have, so he doesn’t consider Sarah to be his real sister, otherwise he’d be happy for her. My wife thinks Claire will be happy about this since she considers Sarah to be her big sister and it will bring the girls even closer together because Sarah will happily share it with Claire and they’ll both have it. So would I be an a**h**e if I did what my wife wants me to do and give the heirloom to Sarah?
Let us know what he should do in the comments!
Source: Reddit
