Funny ways to turn down intimacy with your partner when you are not feeling it
1. You’re bloated
This is really a great excuse. Your partner can’t catch you out. After all, you look physically fine as always. But internally, you feel terrible. See, when you say that you have a cold, your man will be able to detect whether you really have a cold or not. There would be signs, such as a runny nose and a cough. With bloating, you can literally whale-out on the sofa and watch Netflix, because you can’t move.
2. “Woman stuff”
Yes, tonight you’ve got that “woman stuff” issues that your man wouldn’t understand, not even if you explained it all to him. You have to be careful with how you use this one, though. Never stray too far from “woman stuff”, because he might get concerned. For example, if you say that you feel on fire down there, he’s going to spend half the night worrying about you. Before you know it, he’ll be on the phone to the hospital arranging an X-ray. Just brush him off with “woman stuff” and reassure him that you’ll be fine tomorrow. He’ll give up trying to make l0ve to you, and he won’t be too concerned.
3. You have a backache
Like bloating, back pain doesn’t really manifest any obvious symptoms. People can walk around the office all day with back pain and no one would know. It’s not as though we look like hunchback’s or anything. Still, you will need to wince and groan every now and then. Tell him that even doing the simple things, such as buttering your toast, is difficult. Remind him throughout the day how much pain you’re in. If he really doesn’t look convinced, you could do the whole hunchback routine.
4. Put a face mask on
When he comes out of the shower, expecting to kiss you, you’ll be lying in bed waiting for your mask to set. This will be really disappointing for him, because he’s been super excited and you’ve basically ruined his night. But no matter how excited he is, there is no way he will want to make it with you, while you look like a dripping swamp. You’re basically free.
5. You haven’t shaved
You can say that you haven’t shaved for a while and it will stop you from enjoying yourself.
Do you have other ideas on how to turn down intimacy when you are not feeling it?
