Papa Bear and Mama Bear—the very same ones from the classic Goldilocks tale—finally reached their breaking point and filed for a messy divorce.
Because they couldn’t agree on custody arrangements, they ended up in family court. The judge, wanting to do what was best for the child, called Little Baby Bear up to the witness stand to get his input.
The judge leaned forward kindly and asked, “Well, young man, who would you like to live with? Would you like to live with your father?”
“Oh, absolutely not Papa Bear!” Baby Bear cried, wiping away a tear. “He has a terrible temper and he beats me all the time!”
The judge’s face fell. “Oh dear, that’s awful. Well, in that case, would you prefer to live with your mother, Mama Bear?”
“No way!” Baby Bear sobbed even louder. “She’s actually way meaner than him! She beats me even worse than Papa Bear does!”
The judge was deeply perplexed and scratched his chin curiously. “Well, if both your mother and your father beat you, who on earth would you like to live with?”
Baby Bear sniffled, brightened up a bit, and answered confidently, “I want to go live with my Grandma Bear in Illinois.”
The judge frowned slightly. “Are you absolutely certain about that, son? Your Grandma Bear definitely doesn’t beat you?”
Baby Bear smiled from ear to ear and replied:
“Oh, I’m 100% sure, Your Honor. The Chicago Bears don’t beat anyone!”
