A doctor gets called to the hospital in the middle of the night
As it’s an emergency, and the highway is completely empty at this time of night, he’s going a little over the speed limit. Suddenly, he sees blue lights fire up behind him, and he’s pulled over.
The cop approaches the car and says “Do you know how fast you were going?”
“About five miles an hour over,” says the doctor. “Sorry. I’m a doctor, and one of my patients has taken a turn for the worse, so I’m rushing to the hospital.”
“The rules are the rules,” replies the cop. “I’ve gotta give you a ticket.” The cop starts writing it out and, as he does, asks “What kind of doctor are you, anyway?”
“I’m an asshole stretcher,” says the doctor. “One of the best, actually.”
“You’re a what?” says the baffled cop, looking up from the ticket.
“Yeah, if they need an *ssh*le stretching they come to me. I can easily get them two, three feet wide. Some I’ve got up to six foot.”
“What the hell do you do with a six-foot *ssh*le?” asks the incredulous cop.
“You get him to stop people going five miles an hour over the limit at 3am.”
