Few things in life are as exciting as falling in love with someone new. The feelings can be intense, passionate, and overwhelming, especially at first, and it’s easy to get swept away by the romance of it all. You might like someone so much that you’re willing to overlook just about anything they do wrong, because in your eyes, they’re perfect. Sooner or later, however, when you start getting serious with someone, you’ll start to realize that that isn’t really the case.
Of course, conflicts and misunderstandings are bound to arise, and a rocky start to a relationship doesn’t necessarily equate to a miserable one. On the other hand, however, a lot of the problems you’ll be dealing with later on have usually been there since the beginning, so it’s important that you keep your eye open for any warning signs.
With that said, here are 9 early signs that show your relationship Might NOT last
1. Your relationship is only all about the romantic pull
Romantic attraction between two partners is important as it is part of forming a healthy, solid bond. However, this should not be all that a relationship is about. A healthy relationship will require you to have other similar interests in common with your partner other than romance. Without the similar interests, likes, goals and shared experiences, the base of your relationship is bound to be weak (with very little to build on) from the get go.
2. You Don’t Like Their Friends
There’s a lot of truth in the saying, “Tell me who you are and I’ll tell you who your friends are.” While it’s perfectly fine if you and your partner run in different social circles, it starts to become a problem when you don’t like the people they choose to surround themselves with, which may be an early sign that the two of you are not well-matched.
3. You spend too much together
If you don’t have other friends and your partner is the only person you see to the exclusion of everyone else, this may spell Trouble (with a capital T as you may have noted.)
This sort of attachment to your partner may eventually erode your own sense of self. You might end up depending fully on them for your identity and happiness which is neither healthy nor sustainable.
4. Your relationship feels one-sided
If you feel like you are giving much more than you are getting back, this could be a sign that your relationship is one-sided. While relationships should not be about competing with your partner, both of you should do the work to hold your relationship together.
5. You Feel Like You’re Being Controlled
Imposing their opinions on you, making decisions without asking you, and expecting you to just go along with whatever they want or ask – if you notice your partner doing these things, it may mean that they don’t respect you and don’t care about your feelings. Being in a relationship with someone like this is never going to work out unless they can learn to value your opinion and stop being so controlling of you.
6. You don’t feel accepted
If your partner keeps criticizing you for your “perceived flaws” and is constantly trying to change every aspect of you and trying to make you be/feel like someone you’re not, it might be time to run for those proverbial hills.
This could only mean that your partner is trying to make you be someone you’re not and like they want someone else that is not you.
It is not right to treat someone with disrespect and try to change them instead of accepting them for the unique being that they are. Don’t sacrifice yourself for someone who does not see your worth.
7. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Them
A lot of us tend to present a more ideal version of ourselves in hopes of impressing the people we like. We try to look nicer, sound smarter, and seem more fun-loving or laid back than we really are, as well as concealing our less attractive qualities. However, if you are already in a committed relationship with someone and you still feel like you can’t be yourself around them, then there’s definitely going to be trouble ahead.
8. You fight/argue all the time
While arguments handled correctly in relationships are healthy (they help partners understand each other’s differences better) and a normal part of every relationship there are some rules that should be considered.
If the conflicts are frequent and volatile in the early stages of a relationship, this could be a sign of incompatibility. Frequent arguing in a relationship (especially in a new relationship) is proof that the relationship is not healthy and won’t be sustainable for a long time.
9. You Don’t Trust Each Other
When there’s a lack of trust in a relationship, it’s not something you can simply ignore and hope it goes away on its own. It’s going to keep coming back to haunt you unless you learn to trust each other, or end your relationship. Having trust in your partner allows you to be more honest, open, and intimate with one another, and if it’s not there, then your relationship won’t have any room to grow.
References: psych2go.net, capitalfm.co.ke