The feeling of losing the man you love is terrible. You can feel that something is wrong. You can feel he’s unhappy … maybe he’ll even tell you he’s unhappy. Emergency! Danger! Turn on the sirens and start panicking! Your instincts are probably telling you to love him, squeeze him, hug him and kiss him a million times so he will stay and love you again. It makes sense…but unfortunately, it’s the wrong approach.
Worse yet, if you freak out and start smothering him with love, it will only drive him farther and farther away.
The secret to keeping a man is to keep him chasing you, not freaking out and trying a strategy exactly opposite to what he wants.
If you feel like he’s not chasing you, isn’t trying to impress you, and just seems bored or resentful about the relationship, it’s time to take a step back.
He needs his independence now and you need to give it to him.
However, in case you’re scared – because he might cheat on you or leave you for another woman – there’s something you need to know.
He won’t leave you… if you make him afraid of losing you first. Here are 5 ways to make him afraid of losing you
1. Leave him wanting more
If he doesn’t fully have you, he’ll always be afraid of losing you and he’ll always be upping his game.
Here are a few ways to leave him wanting more.
– Don’t talk to him all day long. Don’t be afraid to end the conversation first. He’s not going to interpret this as meaning you don’t like him or aren’t interested. It will only make him want you more!
– Don’t always text him back right away. This just makes it seem like you have no life and that is unattractive.
– Don’t say yes to plans every single time. Don’t pretend to be busy, be busy. ;Fill your life up so that he needs to earn a spot, it’s not freely handed over.
– Don’t always keep him in the loop. Let him wonder what you’re doing. If he asks to hang out and you’re busy, just say you’re busy. You don’t need to say what it is you’re doing, let him wonder.
2. Keep busy and make him work to get your attention.
Don’t be there ready for him if and when he’s ready. Do the opposite and get busy with your own life. Give him the independence he asked for, but get busier with your life. Make yourself unavailable by planning activity-packed days.
Show him that he can’t get your attention whenever he wants, this is the best way to reassert his worth.
He had to work hard at first to get her attention.
Now he has to work hard once more to keep you interested.
3. Have an active social life
This ties into the previous point, keep your social life fun and full!
Go out with friends, pursue hobbies, go to the gym. keep doing things you did before you met him, keep your calendar full, and don’t clear it for him.
Getting a man to pursue you or chase you doesn’t have to be about playing games or being manipulative. When you have a full life, this just happens effortlessly. Don’t play hard to get, be hard to get.
4. Give Him Space
If you want to make him worry about losing you to the point where all he thinks about is how to make sure you stay, this next step is very important.
When you give a man a lot of space, it’s going to make him afraid of losing you.
Space is the heart of a good relationship and makes him miss and long for you when you’re not around.
Men need space to process their emotions, solve problems and get things done. They need this aspect in their life in order to be at their best. If your relationship interrupts this process, it’s going to send a negative ripple effect through everything you have with each other.
When he has this space then he’s able to “recharge his batteries” so to speak. Even better, while you’re giving him space, it’s time to recharge yours! Which brings me to my next point…
5. Go Out With Friends
Having a life makes him aware that you are in situations that you could meet other people. What happens if you’re out and meet another guy? Do it for yourself though. This is not a manipulation tactic to make him worry about you.
You’re not actively trying to make him jealous. You’re simply going on with your life and being social. Take up a new hobby and do something you enjoy. The more you’re out living your life, the more he’s going to miss you.
6. Flirt with other men
This is dangerous territory because you could lose your man if you overdo it but as long as you know the line and don’t cross it, flirting with others will make him jealous.
Don’t go overboard but if you simply check out some handsome guy and give him a smile, it can be very effective.
Flirting with someone else will do much more than make your man jealous. He’ll realize that you can take your pick of the guys and yet you chose him, so he needs to choose you.
Another handsome man is like a threat to your man, especially if he flirts back.
Maybe you don’t even have to look for such a man. As long as he sees someone else hitting on you, he’ll realize that you could leave him.
He needs to know that he doesn’t own you and that you can be with someone else, maybe even someone who’d treat you better than he does.
Don’t keep flirting with other men if you’re in a serious relationship. Just once will be enough for him to get the message and be afraid of losing you.
7. Make him jealous by reminding him of how attractive you are.
Provoking jealousy is practically biological, especially if he still loves you. Simply talking about how attractive or fun another man is will make him jealous. The more he seems to ignore you, the more you should research all these other romantic opportunities. Some women even choose to flirt with other guys in front of them.
It’s a not-so-subtle reminder that if he’s that unhappy, many other men will love his good qualities and his company. Personally, I advise NOT to do this unless he is already flirting with other women. This is a power game and should be used at the right time. The truth is, you don’t even need to flirt with other men if it makes you uncomfortable. Simply listening and talking to other men such as co-workers, friends, friends of friends, and other strangers can go a long way in getting his attention. As always, let the men work hard to try to impress you. He’ll remember a time when he fought hard to win you over… and he’ll realize it’s time to do it again.