5 Reasons A Narcissist Can’t Stay In A Relationship
Narcissism is considered a personality disorder in group B of the Manual on Diagnosis and Statistics of Mental Disorders. The cause is unknown, but the experts attributed an individual’s development to genetics and the social environment.
The treatment of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NDP), described in 1925 by Austrian psychiatrist Robert Waelder, often proved useless, as most of them did not even recognize that they had a problem with personality.
Whether they notice it or not, narcissists have trouble dealing with people. Many of their romantic relationships fail for many reasons. They do not seem to be linked to a committed and mutually beneficial relationship. Most narcissists seem distant from their families even if they believe that their relationship with their parents, siblings or children is correct.
However, people with NDP have very predictable behaviors. They develop similar patterns in their different relationships because they repeat the same gestures. Because of this, it’s easy to recognize the signs and understand why a narcissist rarely lives in a long-term relationship.
Here Are 5 Reasons A Narcissist Can’t Stay In A Relationship
“If a narcissist can not control you, he will try to control the way others see you.” – unknown
1. They regard people as tools.
Narcissists can not really care for others, but only of themselves, they could fall in love with each other in a dizzying and exciting way at the beginning of the relationship, but they will not have the depth and the dynamism that sustainable unions need to go through.
Narcissists use people’s emotions and resources to exploit them until they no longer need them in their lives.
When you are with a daffodil, you will feel emotionally and mentally stressed as it interferes with your personal space and drains your energy.
Because they are unable to establish a relationship between giving and taking, there is no compromise for a narcissist.
If you are in contact with this type of person, you will always be the one who tries to adapt to what he wants, because he does not yield – even the least – to what you want.
If a narcissist gives you something, know that you do not like it. In fact, you should be careful when a narcissist is nice and gives. This action is probably for your own benefit.
Daffodils are neither kind nor generous if there is nothing for them. They invest in you only when they are sure they can get something from you. It’s a classic user mentality.
A Study On Narcissism And Generosity
A study by the journal Personality and Social Psychology found that narcissists can be forced to participate in charity and to show compassion. However, they have specific limits to these actions. They serve more projection or self-promotion than true altruism. Many self-employed and committed philanthropists still give millions of dollars because they know they are admired for it. When they stop being “generous”, they risk losing the enthusiasm of their audience.
If he can not have anything narcissistic, he will not hesitate to let you down. As a result, few people stay in their lives in the long run.
2. They have ideals that are far detached from reality.
It seems that narcissists have a different view of the world around them. They may have such unrealistic ideals that it is difficult for them to stay in a relationship where there are problems and conflicts.
These people want to maintain a lifestyle and an image that can caress their ego. They value a status that makes them feel important. That’s why they have high demands when it comes to finding a partner. They are mainly looking for a “trophy” from their spouse and not a partner that they can really feed into a relationship of love and support.
Establishing a narcissist is not the goal of building a reciprocal relationship in which both partners can develop together in illness and health. Narcisse only thinks of self-improvement; They connect with people they know can meet that need.
If their relationship encounters a problem, as happens at some point in real life, a narcissist will resort to his partner. Because they are very idealistic, the little flaws of their partner or their relationship can become a big problem for them. Nothing is ever enough for a narcissist, which immediately prevents him from finding a lasting relationship. Once again, no relationship is perfect.
If you live with a narcissist, you will always have to try to satisfy his needs only to make him happy.
They will work hard until they are too exhausted to have positive thoughts and maintain the relationship. However, you will not see the same effort of a narcissist.
They will continue to dream of a perfect life or a perfect marriage without realizing that they must also work hard to earn that kind of life.
3. They don’t know how to trust.
Trust is an essential aspect of any relationship. This virtue is almost biological, because people seem to have the will to trust someone from birth in this world.
As children, we trust our parents to take care of us. As we age, we learn to trust our teachers and friends to enrich our lives. As we mature, we also learn to trust the laws of the universe and the laws of our community.
But in this complex world, we can all be paranoid. When we feel overwhelming pain and disappointment, we can either face it or learn to never trust again.
For a narcissist, however, it is different because they can be affected emotionally by their experiences and their environment, as evidenced by a study published in the journal Behavioral Medicine. This may explain why they find it different to trust another person. For them, trust exposes their weaknesses so that they can never engage in a relationship.
Why Narcissists Lack Trust
- They do not understand that trust also means being vulnerable.
- They do not understand that trust lies in the way partners in a supportive relationship can be deeply connected.
- Trust allows couples to create a bond that allows them to rely on the other person. This is especially true when one or the other needs comfort, safety and support.
- Trust-based relationships express the positive nature of the relationship, especially when both parties know how to balance.
However, if you have a relationship with a narcissist, she is unbalanced from the beginning. Since they can not trust, they will also try to influence you to think their way. They may even prevent you from interacting with others who you think are not in the best interests. This is how they manifest their weaknesses and their fears. You can not see it right away because they can hide their motives.
4. They are manipulative.
According to trust, narcissists like to control people in their lives. They must be dominant in the relationship because they are afraid to expose their vulnerabilities. So you always have an angle or an agenda to maintain this domination. Because of their quest for control, they ultimately manipulate others.
- They will lie, conceal or exaggerate the details in order to falsify the facts in their favor.
- They will always want to feel superior by specifying or borrowing, but they will rarely admit their mistakes or flaws.
- Narcissists are severely affected and may use tactics such as silent treatment or passive aggression to manipulate the situation.
- They like to break the rules and get away with it, but they will find someone to blame them (except themselves) if they get caught.
They refuse to acknowledge their responsibilities.These narcissistic behaviors bring chaos into a relationship; Sometimes you can not help but think they could cause problems just because they want to. Unfortunately, it is also a classic narcissistic feature. They intentionally cause problems because they lack empathy and value for the people around them. After all, people are only tools for them.
5. They can be abusive.
A study of Sex Roles magazine found that male narcissists tended to be hostile to women and abusive in their lives. In fact, they can commit domestic violence if they are denied satisfaction.
They may also show aggression against the LGBTQ community, but, as the experts said, not because they have a gender problem. It’s because they have a problem with whoever rejects them.
However, not all the abusers are narcissists, and not all narcissists are men. According to the study, there are narcissistic women as violent as men. The likelihood of abuse increases when you have a relationship with a narcissist with the following common characteristics:
- Fragile egos
- A penchant for using people
- Habits of manipulating people
- Lack of empathy for others
- Inflated sense of self-importance
- Domineering personality
Final Thoughts On Reasons A Narcissist Can’t Stay In A Relationship
Can narcissists ever find true love? Because of their disorder, they may not be able to give and experience true selfless love in their adult relationships. If someone lives only for himself, it will be more difficult to find happiness and contentment.
It’s not easy to lead such a life when your happiness comes from the outside. A narcissist will probably not find true and lasting love if he does not understand that it is about teamwork and partnership.
It’s toxic to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Often, the only solution is to get rid of this unhealthy union. You can not really be happy if you have a manipulative and controlling person in your life who does not appreciate your value. It’s not a positive relationship if you know you’re earning more.
It will not be the end of the world if at some point you see through a narcissist and decide that it’s enough, it’s enough. When the chips are empty, you will find that you really get the control that is yours when a narcissist can not affect you negatively.