5 Anger Management Techniques To Stop Yelling At Kids
Parenting is a difficult task, especially when it comes to anger management. Children often do not make sense of the arguments, which can lead to many cries, tantrums, misconduct and other problems. They do not understand how social skills work and live very young in their own little bubble.
It’s even harder to stay cool when you’re exhausted or do not have a good day. After all, fatigue is an essential part of early childhood education. Unfortunately, these children generally have not developed empathy that allows them to understand this. So, you really push your limits!
That’s why it’s so easy to lose control. You may want to scream or shout after your children, especially if they do not listen to you for the hundredth time. However, this is extremely harmful for a young child. You are 100% dependent on yourself and you must be the most mature and important person in the situation.
After all, you are the adult! It is your responsibility to keep calm when things get complicated, especially for vulnerable, vulnerable and easily influenced children.
Here are 5 anger management techniques to stop yelling at kids
1. Learn to communicate effectively
Toddlers and toddlers do not look like adults. They rarely stop shouting. This will catch their attention for a moment, but they will be lost in another world again! This makes any attempt to attract their attention by shouting either totally ineffective or simply harmful.
It is really frustrating not to be listened to, especially if you have talked about a subject again and again. If you have nothing to repeat over and over again, you probably have not spoken in a way that will allow your child to understand it well. Here are some tips to help you manage your anger: (1)
A) Use firm language, calmly
You can look stern and act as if you do not take no for an answer while looking (usually) relaxed.
B) Make eye contact
It is more likely that your child will take you seriously if you keep eye contact with them and can check that they understand what you are saying. You can even kneel or bend over to be eye level.
C) Keep it concise
If you continue droning at some point for a long time, your child will turn it off slowly but surely. Get to work, make sure they understand it and leave it there.
D) Be consistent
Stay consistent with your expected good behavior. Do not change your expectations every day as this will only confuse your child and prevent him from following instructions.
E) Don’t give in
If you have advised your child to complete a task and you have not done so yet, do not give up by rolling your eyes and doing the task yourself. If you do, you will teach your child that he can escape tasks if he does not know enough time. No matter how long it takes, get up!
Sometimes your child protests for a reason. Listen to their explanations and their complaints. Make sure they know you can not “hear” them unless they speak politely and correctly. If you have learned from them, make a more informed decision for your next step.
2. Prepare beforehand
The Professor of Child Psychology and Psychology at Yale, dr. Alan Kazdin has put together a unique but important set of steps for more effective, calmer and more positive parenting. He calls this the ABC program. Here’s how it works: (2)
This part of the program is about preparing your child for what is expected of him before he has to do it. This allows them to prepare for it and keep it in mind.
For example, if you want your child to tidy his plate after eating, you must tell him at any time before a snack. It can be as simple as, “Please, put your dishes in the sink when you’re done eating!”
This step involves strengthening and shaping the desired behavior. It’s your responsibility to make sure of it. After all, many children learn by example! So, if you want to teach your kids to put their dishes in the sink after eating, be sure to do the same with your own dishes.
The consequence is the phase in which you show your child positive reinforcement in order to get involved in the right behavior. When your child has cleared his plates, you praise and kiss him or give him another sign of approval that is physically affectionate.
You must make sure that your praise is very strong and awesome so that it is perceived and your child associates it with a good cause that has brought them to fruition. Do not be afraid to act as a theatrical actor!
Another great way to prepare yourself in advance is to be aware of your anger. If you feel upset, get ready and your kids. Tell them what the problem is, for example:
They had a bad day at work
You really need to concentrate
They feel very tired
They are worried about their safety
They send back their battles or their quarrels
Formulate it positively and communicate with them. Ask them to limit this as a proactive approach to anger management. If you have to, divert your attention and reassign your position and requirements until they listen to you.
3. Learn to understand your own anger management process accurately
Anger may seem complex, but it is a surprisingly simple emotion. By learning to understand and interpret your anger, you can react in a more positive, proactive and less reactive way. Here are some tips to help you: (3)
A) Identify the root
Anger is a secondary emotion. This means that it does not exist by itself; This comes in support of other negative emotions. The next time you feel angry, take a deep breath and think about it.
Try to record all the feelings behind the anger. You can feel:
- Sad or angry
B) Figure out what triggers you to start yelling
Different parents have different triggers of anger. Knowing what yours are, you can anticipate them and prepare them in advance to prevent them from disintegrating you when you meet them.
Here are some examples of common triggers experienced by a parent:
Some sets of children, like …
“I do not want!”
“You can not make me do it!”
“Why can not I?”
“Are we still here?”
Some negative behavior (eg leaving unpolluted toys, fighting with siblings, talking back, etc.)
External factors associated with mild misconduct (example: you have to cook, but your children complain, they have to focus on work, but your children keep playing too hard, etc.)
C) Take note of physical responses
Many people experience physical changes when they get angry. By taking note of these reactions in your body, you will understand better when you need positive anger management. Your body could tell you that anger is increasing, even if your brain has not caught it yet. Some common signs of anger are:
Accelerated pulse or heart rate
D) Understand its purpose
Anger does not come from nothing or without reason. They are angry because some things do not work properly or when needed. Understanding why you get angry can help you understand the steps needed to prevent things from going that way.
4. Take a break
Too angry? Go away and take a break. When you feel your anger rise to an uncontrollable level, get out of the room. Tell your child that you are too angry to continue the discussion and that you are going to take a break.
Take a deep breath when you are gone. Sit down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Go to the bathroom or sink nearby and wash your face. Refresh yourself a little. If that helps you, you can even get a mantra or a positive affirmation about being positive in these times. (4)
You can use mantras like:
I will only show love.
My child needs understanding and patience.
This situation is not a disaster.
My child only plays because he has problems (insert the problem here).
I will be patient today.
5. Practice, practice, practice
Nobody is perfect and if you are used to shouting at your children, it is difficult to unlearn the behavior when things go wrong. The trick is in continuous practice and a lot of positive thinking.
Anger management is crucial for good parenting. You can learn to be calmer or you can
Write your anger in a newspaper
Make an art that expresses your anger
Shout in a pillow or hit him
If you decide to use outlets to make you angry, make sure to do it in private or out of the box, if this is not a generally accepted activity!
Final thoughts on some anger management techniques to stop yelling at kids
If you have already screamed after your child, it is time to stop and learn other methods to reach them. Your child’s howling can cause many emotional and mental harms, especially if they include unfair names, disrespect, and verbal abuse. In fact, it’s as serious as hitting and punishing physically. (5)
You can learn from this treatment inappropriate anger management techniques. You can start showing the same behaviors as you. In some cases, they can also retire completely. Even if they look beautiful, their developing brain is compromised in one way or another and it will have adverse effects later in life.
Studies show that positive reinforcement is a much better system for children than negative reinforcement. For this reason, it may be best for you and your children to learn how to handle your anger. This will help them behave better and it will give you more air!
So, while it can be difficult to stay calm when your child is mean, take a deep breath and resume your positive thinking! Use these 5 anger management techniques to stop yelling at children and build a healthier, happier, and more effective parent-child relationship.