3 Ways to Handle Disturbingly Negative Thoughts
The human psyche has so many radio disturbances that it is a miracle we can all hear. Overall, it’s very, very difficult, right?
That’s why the resources for positive thinking are so important. They help us stay on the positive side of the mental equation. What do we do when negative thoughts come up?
Well, negativity starts in the head. So let’s start with how that manifests itself, and then discuss the steps that will neutralize it.
Negativity can manifest itself spontaneously – often in a disturbing way. You can sit with a friend during lunch. Suddenly, a thought comes to your mind: he’s so stupid. And look, his socks do not even go together. You can meet your boss or another authority. Suddenly, you feel the need to leave and scold for his terrible boss. You can even cuddle with your loving partner and start having dubious, negative and unfounded thoughts about his intentions.
Negativity can have a life of its own in our psyche and we often feel powerless to do anything about it. The question is: what can you do to effectively manage the negative aspects of your mind?
THREE POSSIBILITIES FOR TREATING NEGATIVE THOUGHT
1.Realize that impulsive, critical and even blatantly negative thoughts are…..normal.
These thoughts are not “socially acceptable”, so few people want to admit what is really happening in their minds. Nevertheless, the mind of an average person can be a cauldron smoking mischief. I know it by 25 years of consulting and coaching very average people – just like me. My clients have always been well-adjusted, successful people with families, jobs, projects and responsibilities of adults. Normal people. But if we dig a little, even the nicest and most reserved people reveal a completely different and much darker version of them.
This is normal, normal, normal. I have never met anyone – anyone – from the average teenager who smokes marijuana to the most respected professional who has not struggled with that kind of thing on a deeper level.
I remember realizing for the first time that my mind was ready to focus on people. I found myself in the office of the mission president in Sao Paulo, Brazil. (I was a Mormon missionary aged 19 to 21 and a Mormon convinced at age 37.) Thanks to my hard work and dedication, I rose through the ranks and became a Special Assistant to the President. This work was the envy of all missionaries thirsting for power. In any case, we stayed there. The president made the necessary changes on the ground and I nodded seriously.
I support you, Mr President!
And then it hit me – the sudden urge to hit him in the face. I noticed that my hand was squeezing and … .Whoa! Wait a second Do not beat your spiritual guide!
Then the voice: “Fuck it, I’ll fire this guy now!”
I said a quiet prayer. I am so sorry for my violent thoughts. Please give me the strength to respect my boss …
“Beat it! Hit the con!”
I worked in the president’s office for six months. And for six months, I wanted to get rid of this guy for no apparent reason and put a line on his face (there was a reason – but not one I knew at the time). It was painful.
OKAY? I am also a person. And that’s pretty normal from my point of view. If you are conscious enough to notice your disturbing thoughts, congratulations. You’re not alone. They are in the company of all the other humans that have ever existed. Believe me
2. Thoughts are only thoughts, and that is all they will ever be.
A thought is a tiny secretion of neurotransmitters. Their number is estimated at thousands per hour (in fact, they can not be quantified because the brain never rests and processes a huge amount of data permanently). Some of these data appear on the surface, where we consciously consider and interpret them.
Is not it interesting that we often give all the weight to the negatives and reject the positives? These are your negative mental connections to work. Negative attachments attach us to inner fear. They are powerful. I have devoted a book to this concept of maintaining inner negativity. It’s real – and everyone should be aware of the difficulty of admitting it.
Anyway, thoughts are just thoughts. They are neither good nor bad. They only have the meaning that you give them. Can you stop taking it so seriously? If you can, you have more choices.
3. There is a solution.
This is not a magic solution. Nobody can use a wand that cleans your mind and turns you into pure, golden light. You are a person; imperfect and vulnerable.
That is, when you are ready to deal with deeper problems, you can usually get a purer and more relaxed mind. In my experience, you will not succeed if you fight every thought. It only prepares you for the war.
You get there by addressing your deepest problems.
The deepest problem for me was resistance to authority. When I grew up, those who had authority over me hurt or neglected me. Finally, I concluded that they did not care or did not know what they were doing. Therefore, no figure of authority should have any power over me. In fact, I think authority figures should be punished.
These are childish thoughts of an injured child who did not understand that my parents and older siblings were just people with their own problems. I did not take care of my child. I only wanted revenge. This led to problems early in adulthood. My attitude as a rebel required only more intervention on the part of the authority, not less, which made me even more boring … the vicious circle. Rebel is one of 12 types of attachments that cause self-sabotage under the AHA Solution Online program. I had to deal with it for a while. It was worth it.
Above all, working on deeper topics has allowed me to enjoy the luxury of a quiet mind that rarely escapes the hand. My mind always takes the best of me from time to time, but nothing like it before. More than worth the effort!
What is the deeper problem under your negative thoughts? Recognize it. Name the problem and accept the truth. Then you have some work to do. It’s possible. And a better way than being at the mercy of spiritual demons.